Calgone lyrics by Incubus

On my way home, police car pulled me over
After they left, I puttered out of gas
Triple-A' came, but my card was expired

I had to walk home and of course
It rained half the time
I tried to get some shut eye

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Then I was abducted

They put cold things in my butt
They sampled a bit of my D.N.A.
They left me on top of my sheets
I dreamt I went potty then woke up drenched in me

This day sucked the hardest ever
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today
A little bit less than nothing would go my way
I got up to toss my soiled sheets

The hallway was dark and I stubbed my big toe
It was then that I sensed the irony
(Burning me)
Then I heard the voice say
"Come sail aboard S.S. Nepenthe"

I suppose I'm to blame for getting pulled over
I guess I'm the culprit for running out of gas
Let's assume I'm the guy who didn't pay his 'Triple-A' fee
In actuality, I let the zetas probe me

Yesterday was all my fault
I let negativity get the better of me
Thank goodness for the bathtubs and suds
They temporarily set free this quandary