Arthur's Farm lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit

Arthur Askee and Dougie Wougie Bader
Went down to the Animal Farm.
Dug in for the poor,
They heard stories from the war.
And explaimed about the boil on his palm.

Napoleon, very pink, offerred both of them a drink,

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And a drink and a drink and a drink.
Come the hour of four, they were legless to be sure,
Not one of them had even had a wink,
Of sleep.

Everybody sang as loud as they could,
"Two legs bad, but four legs good!"
This made the boys feel pretty impressed.

{? K. Winding film ?}, it was A. A. at the Helm",
While Dougie Beetle's wrapped among the ruins.
After {? only dodging ?} limbs and {? the Oil of Murphy ?} hymns
And a sale for some second-hand boots.
Years passed by, it got crazy in the sty.
It was stupid, it was total anarchy!
Everybody arsed around
As the Beast of England Sound,
Had been ruined by a busy busy bee!
And chants were heard from the East to the West,
"Four legs good, but no legs best!"
Invalidity reigned supreme.
And shouts were heard from the East to the West,
"Four legs good, but no legs best!"
{? Frog-time ?} visit to another regime.